Recognizing signs of abuse can be vital in the process of healing.

It can be helpful to understand that these behaviors are motivated by a need to gain or maintain power and/or control and are learned as an effective - though intentionally hurtful - tool for managing an internalized fear response. 

What to Notice: 

• Unwanted touch or aggressive touch and/or throwing and breaking of objects
• Name calling, blaming, put-downs, constantly finding fault with ones partner
• Ignoring, stone-walling or gas-lighting (often described as "crazy-making") 
• Manipulating or coercing partner to do things they don't want to
• Restricting connection with family, friends, work or children.
• Controlling all finances or withholding basic needs
• Threatening to hurt you, your children or pets
• Pressuring sexual activity that is unwanted, or unsafe
• Any tracking, stalking or monitoring of transportation, social media or communications either at home or at work
• Intimidating through posturing, use of weapons, or explosive anger outbursts
• Unreasonable or excessive discipline of children resulting in injury or marks
• Repeated pattern of intentionally hurtful behaviors that create a sense of fear, lack of safety or unrest in the home. 

Note:  this is not an exhaustive list, nor is it meant to diagnose. If you are concerned that you may be in an abusive relationship, or that you are hurting your family, please contact us for more information.